Last night, I was scrolling through Facebook on my phone, reading Swedish articles about how bad screen time and mobile phones are for you—and especially for young people. And suddenly it was so clear that I needed to find ways to spend less time on my phone—for example by quitting social media.
I literally started fantasizing about what my life would be like without Facebook, Twitter, and an average of 70 minutes per day staring at my phone. I felt a lightness I haven’t felt in a long time and went to sleep like that—excited, expectant.
I’ve taken breaks before, and I even gave up my smart phone for over a year in 2011, but I have not done a wholesale digital reset before. It is never a good time. I always have something to promote—a book, a cause, an event, a new business… But my reach on social media is minimal. It would be one thing if I had a big platform and could influence many people that way, but I don’t—and I don’t like the medium enough to get there.
Writing
Last year, I resolved to spend less time in front of screens. The only digital casualty of this decision was this blog, the digital space I should be nurturing the most! Somehow, I find time to be on social media, but I don’t make time to write. Granted, I’ve been in an action-and-input-phase lately—actually working on post-capitalist projects vs. writing about it. Reading, and reading, and learning so much. Fine. I won’t fret about it. But now I want to write again—and not just research papers for my MBA courses.
Value
This is about more than finding time to write again. It’s about value—costs and benefits. I hear Cal Newport whispering in my ear, “are you using social media or being used by it?” I’d rather spend time with people in person rather than in an asynchronous virtual manner. An inspiring conversation is more valuable to me than scroll, scroll, scrolling through my news feed. While I realize some of the benefits of social media, the value to me personally is not great enough to justify its use.
Social Change
But the biggest reason I’ve decided to jump ship from Facebook and Twitter (I already stopped using Instagram) is that the addiction to these platforms and the resulting screen time is harming people. Maybe it’s harming me—I know it stresses me out to realize I wasted 30 minutes on my phone at night when I’m too tired to get myself ready for bed. How will this disturbing trend change? Only if we change our behaviors and say no (and yes). Say no to 720 friends (and yes to close relationships and looking people in the eye). Say no to checking the phone 30 times per day (and yes to unplugging after work). Say no to wasted time (and yes to being present with people, animals, and our environment).
I know I’ll miss out on things—events, birthday wishes, seeing pics of my nieces & nephews… But that’s about it. Really.
And let’s get back to the real issue here. We are a profoundly sick society. These services & our smart phones are disconnecting us from what is real—eating meals together without disruptions, making eye contact, being bored, noticing our surroundings, having rich, real-time conversations, doing deep, meaningful work.
I’m keeping my iPhone. I need it for the work I do. But I upgraded to Moment Premium to help me control my use. Using technology to help me manage my relationship with technology. I know, weird.
I’d love to know what you think about all this.
Hi Tabita, “Social media” is this brand new thing that is not the same thing as “screen.” I got bullied on social media so I got off. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with “screens.” I need the screen to see. I can’t see paper very well. So I am grateful for “screen.” I have been using “screen” since the 1980’s before “online” even existed. I see better when I reverse the colors and make the print very large! I also gave up television a couple of decades ago because I found it a waste of my time and not very good use of intellect. I am not sure if TV is “screen.” I have not once played a video game.
Hi Julie, I agree social media is not the same as screens. I sit in front of a screen all day for work, so I think that’s why I’m especially sensitive to not being on my phone or other screens at night or on the weekends. I don’t want to wake up one day and realized I spent most of y waking hours staring at a screen! But I’m totally in favor of using technology to enhance our daily lives, the way you are.
P.S. I’m really sorry to hear you got bullied on social media. One more reason to minimize our use of it…
On Sunday when I attended church as I walked into the Gathering Space there were six people sitting in chairs. Five of these people were staring at there phone screen and only one was sitting next to their friend in quiet contemplation. As I needed to talk to one of these individuals I made a statement to the group that I recall the days when walking into this setting, individuals would be talking with each other rather than staring at a screen. As one who did not join Facebook and utilizes tools like Twitter and LinkedIn solely for professional reasons, I appreciate your post. Years ago while a student at Luther College, I went on the Nottingham Program. We had to work at staying connected to family back in the states. Writing letters, waiting for letters and planning in detail expensive phone calls made home or home making to us. Now we live in an era where we have to put that energy in disconnecting from our devices. I am thankful for the skills I learned through having to work to be connected as they help in learning how to disconnect.
Thanks for your comments, Mary. Amy Weldon, a professor at Luther, has a policy that students have to put their devices away when they enter her classroom whether she’s there or not. She loves entering a classroom buzzing with conversation after she’s passed several classrooms walking down the hall that sit in complete silence, even with students in them.
Hi Tabita, and thank you for this post. When it landed it in my inbox it came with a golden glow and angels singing in the background… in other words, it was *timely* as I, too, have been struggling with letting social media be all too consuming in my personal life while borderline essential in my professional life. How can one use it professionally but not get sucked into the personal time trap? How essential is social media for marketing purposes? The Moment Premium concept is interesting, though, I can already see myself installing it and 2 months later uninstalling when deep in a Facebook binge. That said, I’m going to try it. Maybe we can compare experiences. Thank you for your thoughts on this important and ever-relevant topic.
Hi Kristin – I hear you on the personal vs. professional question. My solution is to have a business Facebook account that I hook up to the pages I need to manage. This allows me to deactivate my personal Facebook account when needed—like now. Yes, let’s compare experiences!
One step I’ve taken is to delete social apps from my phone. When there’s nothing to “check”, my phone returns to a simpler machine– one that I use when I need to complete the concrete task at hand (like make a phone call).
Make your smart phone dumb again!